Christmas and giving thanks

Street Christmas decoration, Price Utah Main Street.

I'm not religious.  My birth father was Jewish, my mother Christian.  I wasn't exposed to church regularly until I was 11ish, in foster care.  So it was hard to have "faith" when Christianity seemed illogical.  I am somewhere between agnostic and atheist so holidays like Christmas are hard for me--Hallmark Christmas movies are especially over the top.

But the holiday lighting is cool, who doesn't like presents, and it's fun to attempt to give meaningful gifts (one year we gave Suzanne's parents an avocado tree).

Last year at this time, I probably had two chemotherapy treatments and I was weak.  My hair started falling out around then.  

It was part of a bad period that would only get worse--in 14 months I had a colonoscopy, colon surgery, congestive heart failure (which presented in post-op), Large T cell lymphoma alk-negative (super aggressive), I think a couple of biopsies, chemotherapy treatment, then in the hospital for 8 days with covid, and pneumonia and myocarditis as a bonus, then I needed a pacemaker (on a heart monitor after the hospitalization and they called in the middle of the night saying my heart had stopped for about 12 seconds--by the end of the day I had a pacemaker), a third lead added to the pacemaker (it runs most of the time, dealing with my various issues), enteral nutrition (upon release from covid, I weighed 110 pounds), a CHF relapse so all the terrible symptoms -- constant cough and snot, hard to talk being the worst -- returned, blood clot in the heart so I was hospitalized, and two instances of supra fluid imbalance (I forget the technical term) which led to hospitalizations too.

One of the "worst" symptoms is "cancer mouth".  It makes most foods taste bad and so I wasn't interested in eating, and I lost a lot of weight.  With my CHF relapse in June it got even worse--even water tastes bad.  But lately I started not tasting at all and that's actually better so I am eating more.  Now I weigh about 126...  But it makes it hard to appreciate food.  E.g., I made a gingerbread cake earlier in the week, with frosting.  Suzanne says it's great but I can't taste a thing.

1900 block of Michigan Avenue, Salt Lake City.

Ah, and because my chemotherapy was interrupted by my covid, I was supposed to get 6 treatments but by February had only received three.  In May/June preparing for resumption, testing found I am in remission from the lymphoma  After three treatments I didn't have to do anymore!  My hair has since grown back but differently, more tufty but darker, less grey.  

Since I started cancer treatment I got in the habit of not looking in the mirror, so I don't pay much attention to how I look.  I was supra gaunt, and I don't pay much attention to my hair.  

My heart is functioning more than 3x better than in June--it was so poor then I was a potential candidate for a heart transplant.

It's been quite a 14 months.  I am thankful that I am still alive after all that.  I am still quite weak compared to my former self.  I haven't biked in almost 18 months--my last 1 mile bike trip took 45 minutes between gasping, coughing, snotting, and resting.

It turns out the thing I am most thankful for is taking up biking for transportation in 1990.  My adoptive parents moved and forced me to take my belongings, which included an old Raleigh 10 speed.  

I started biking for transportation because it was efficient compared to the time getting to and from transit and waiting for trains or buses, but also for health reasons.  My patrilineal line had a history of heart disease--my father and uncle died at 54, their father even earlier.  And I didn't think I could routinize going to the gym to make a fitness membership worthwhile.

So out of all my health problems, many of the tests found I was quite robust internally (relatively speaking).  Eg when they did the angiogram there were no plaques at all.  And it's given me the resilience to survive (many of the people with my recent health history die rather than survive),

So it's not a shock to me that a study in Scotland found that regular biking reduced early death ("18-Year Study Of 82,297 Adults Finds Cycle Commuting Halves Chance Of Early Death," Forbes).

The latest research to confirm this is an 18-year-long study of 82,297 Scottish adults. 

This found that compared with sedentary commuting, commuting to work or study by bike was associated with lower all-cause mortality risk, lower risk of any hospitalization, lower risk of cardiovascular disease, lower risk of cancer mortality and better mental health. 

Those who walked to work also extended their lives, although not by as much. The study—in BMJ Public Health—says that cycling to work is the “most practical and sustainable way [for many people] to increase daily physical activity.”

Mile End Bike Garage Co-op, Montreal.

I joke that while biking didn't ward off my heart problems, it postponed them by many years--I have lived 10 years longer than my father.  

And now that I seem to be on an upward trajectory with my various treatments, I may still be able to live a long time, relatively speaking.  With physical therapy and cardiac rehab on the horizon, I hope to be able to take up biking again.

Happy holidays! 

PS this year I am going to try to make sufganiyot, Hanukkah doughnuts, for dinner at my next door neighbors.  One filling will be plum jam that I made before all my health issues.  The other will be custard (pudding).